Flying-By-Friday!!

Greetings Global Villagers & Urban Angels, LLC:

It's another Flying-By-Friday!! The Urban Angels have landed again. This time they've landed on the Preach My Sister (P.M.S.)!! Facebook group for women only.

Many of the posts in P.M.S. relate to yesterday's Thriving-In-Transition Thursday, topic of remaining connected to the Source. The awesome thing about P.M.S. is that it is a very confidential and supportive group of spiritual women. Whenever a Sister is experiencing a life transition, she can always post her need for support. Most times, her Sisters will encourage her to reconnect with the Source.

Through prayer, words of affirmation, and connection to the Source, Sisters of P.M.S. make the necessary transitions to thrive and overcome. The use of Facebook has helped Sisters build their support system in unique and creative ways. You should consider joining the Urban Angels, LLC Facebook group.

Why?

Because God created each Urban Angel to fly by with greatness!!

Thriving-In-Transition Thursday!!

Greetings Global Villagers:

It's another Thriving-in-Transition Thursday!!

For the last few weeks, we have been discussing Marcia Perkins-Reed's perspective of being a Coper, which is a term that describes those of us who have "chosen immature and maladaptive strategies" [to manage life]" (p. 32).  Some Coper characteristics are disconnection from spirituality, no sense of purpose, and rigid attitudes, to name a few.

I wanted us to discuss the disconnection from spirituality as a Coper characteristic. I believe it has a direct impact on us fulfilling the greatness in our own shoes. Those of us that are disconnected from spirituality, lack the roots from which to draw strength for support as life transitions occur (p. 35).

In order for us to thrive-in-transition, we must surrender to and connect with God!! Also, we can not fulfill the greatness in our own shoes if we are disconnected.  Just like we can not light up our homes if the lamp cords are disconnected from the wall sockets, we can not fulfill the greatness in our own shoes if we are disconnected from spirituality.

So, let's thrive-in-transition and be great by connecting with the Source!!

Wonderfully-Sexual Wednesday!!

Happy Hump Day Global Villagers:

Last Wonderfully-Sexual Wednesday, we discussed that we are multidimensional with spiritual, as well as sexual beings. As we know, our sexuality consists of five circles, which are Intimacy, Sensuality, Sexual Identity, Sexual Health and Reproduction, and Sexualization.

However, let's consider this: Why were we created as sexual beings?  What is the original intent of our sexuality?

Let's talk about this!! I would love to hear your thoughts/beliefs!! Please comment below!!

Introspective Tuesday!!

Greetings Global Villagers,

It's Introspective Tuesday!!  Let's reconsider the following quote by Boyte & Kari (1994) from this week's Magnificent Monday, 

"The way people imagine what they can and ought to do powerfully shapes how they act" (p. 25).

Let's think back to when we were 16-years old. What was the most important thing to us during that time? Was it school, sports, our boyfriend/girlfriend, place of worship, or friends? Now, let's think back to when we were 25-years old considering the same question?  What was important to us? Again, but now let's consider us at our present age? How have our actions changed from age 16 to the present? 

Do we agree that our thoughts at age 16 were the driving force of our actions? Now that we are adults, let's consider what drives us? Is it our careers, family, financial security, a greater good, spiritual well-being, or health and fitness? 

The point I'm trying to make is that we behave according to our thoughts. My challenge is for us to ponder what we are thinking about. If we do so, then we will discover that what we think about the most is manifested in our actions.

So, on this Introspective Tuesday, let's think about what we are thinking about...

Why?

Because God created us with the power to shape our greatness!!

Magnificent Monday!!

Greetings Global Villagers:

On this Magnificent Monday, we will consider the following quote from Building America: The Democratic Promise of Public Work by Harry C. Boyte and Nancy N. Kari,

"The way people imagine what they can and ought to do powerfully shapes how they act" (p. 25).

Remember when we talked about the fact that our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are directly connected.  We are not only what we eat; we are and do according to what we think. If we think that we are going to have a bad day, then we will have a bad day. If we think that we are powerless to make any changes on our jobs or in our personal lives, then we close ourselves off to the possibilities of transformation and revolution.

Let's consider the social problem of homelessness, for example. A new organization by the name of We Feed the Homeless Philly, grew to over 500 supporters and volunteers in a little over a year. Why? Because the Founder and CEO, Craig Stroman, decided that he had to and could feed the homeless. His imagination, not only renewed the vision for his life, yet it powerfully sparked the latent possibilities in others to do public work.

So on this Magnificent Monday, I want us to think about how we can powerfully transform and revolutionize our world for the greater good.

Why?

Because God created us with the power to fulfill our greatness!!

Flying-By-Fridays!!

Greetings Global Villagers and Urban Angels, LLC:

It's another Flying-By-Friday!! Has anyone seen any Angels lately? 

A few weeks ago they landed at a quaint spot in East Falls. I got word that some of them landed at the Campbell's Ballpark for the 4th Annual Indoor/Outdoor White Linen Affair Cancer/Leo Birthday Bash in Camden, NJ.  They helped Chef Smiley of Happy Face Catering celebrate his birthday. This event was a perfect place for them to land since it called for all white attire.

Urban Angels, LLC loves to land and share moments of laughter. Let's continue on the discussion that we've been having this week about balance. The various landings that we share about on Flying-By-Fridays are ways that the Angels channel their power to focus on building relationships with each other.

This is so important to remember when using social media networks. Yes, it is great for us to "Friend", "Follow", "Connect", and "Like" each other. However, as we all know, relationships are truly built from face to face interactions. Relationships become stronger when we transfer the connections that are established from cyberspace into our physical space where we utilize our senses to maximize our moments.

Remember, one way to bring balance into our lives is by focusing on the things that matter most, which are relationships.

Why?

Because God created each Urban Angel to fly by with greatness!!

Thriving-In-Transition Thursday!!

Greetings Global Villagers:

I'm excited about how we are thriving-in-transition!!

Last week, we discussed Marcia Perkins-Reed's perspective of being a Coper, which is a term that describes those of us who have "chosen immature and maladaptive strategies" [to manage life]" (p. 32). Perkins-Reed also stated that Copers "are achievement oriented...[they] place an unwarranted emphasis on external things and less attention on relationships, hopes, desires and passions, and innate creative abilities" (p. 46). 

This is a perfect addition to our discussion on Canfield, Hansen, & Hewitt's (2000) B-ALERT strategy from this Magnificent Monday. Those of us who are Copers do not channel our power to focus on bringing balance into our lives. Some ways to identify if we are Copers is to ask ourselves the following questions:

1. Am I a workaholic?
2. How much emphasis do I put on achieving my goals? Is it at the expense of my relationships?
3. Can I identify myself other than as my professional role, job title, or business venture?
4. Do I choose work over family, friends, vacation, etc.

All of us receive satisfaction from being successful. However, few of us enjoy the pleasures of living a balanced life. For those of us that do, it's because we have channeled our power to focus on the things that matter the most, our relationships, hopes, etc. 

For those of us who identified as Copers, we should reconsider the B-ALERT strategy. It's a good way to begin channeling our power to focus on balancing our lives and living effectively as life transitions.

Why?

Because God has created us with the greatness to thrive-in-transition!!

Wonderfully-Sexual Wednesday!!

Happy Hump Day Global Villagers:

Do you know that you are wonderfully-sexual? Yes, you are! Do you really understand what I mean when I say that you are wonderfully-sexual?  No? Well, let me explain!!

We are multi-dimensional beings. We are spiritual beings who reside in physical bodies that possess souls. Our souls comprise of our emotional, psychological, and social beings, in which all work together as organic, unique, and dynamic micro-systems. Pastor Creflo Dollar shared in his April/May 2010 newsletter article titled, The Soul/Spirit Connection, something very similar. He also wrote that "our souls are made up of our mind, will, and emotions."

Included in our souls is our sexual beings. As we know our sexual beings are made up of five circles, which are Intimacy, Sensuality, Sexual Identity, Sexual Health and Reproduction, and Sexualization.   Like other parts of us, our sexual beings are multi-dimensional. There is more to our sexual beings than our sexual orientation, like being heterosexual, for example, or having a high-sex drive. Looking at our sexuality from this angle stirs up thoughts full of wonder!!

Why?

Because God wonderfully created every aspect of us with greatness!!

Introspective Tuesday!!

Happy Introspective Tuesday Global Villagers:

OMG, where do I begin?

I have so many different directions that I want to take us on this Introspective Tuesday!!  Because I need to focus on one topic of introspection I think I will stick with the inspiration from this week's Magnificent Monday. We began discussing ways to be successful explained by Canfield, Hansen, & Hewitt (2000), the authors of The Power of Focus.

It's going to be short and sweet on this Introspective Tuesday!! In order to be successful, we must develop and focus on accomplishing our goals. Remember back on a Magnificent Monday when we were challenged to write a 10-year life plan? Did you take the challenge seriously? If you didn't, then why? 

Let's calmly channel our power to focus on fulfilling the greatness in our own shoes!!

Magnificent Monday!!

Greetings Global Villagers:

It's another Magnificent Monday and we will be discussing the power of focus!!

Canfield, Hansen, & Hewitt (2000), the authors of The Power of Focus,  stated that the main reason why people are unsuccessful is because they lack focus. They developed 10 strategies that I think can help us to fulfill the greatness in our own shoes. Those of us who channel our power to focus on what we want will be successful and prosperous.

Balancing family, business, personal time, friendships, exercise, and other activities takes effort. We can become easily distracted by life's pressures. Canfield, Hansen, & Hewitt (2000), developed the B-ALERT strategy to help us remain focused on creating the optimum balance of life:

B-lueprint: Develop a daily strategic plan for our priorities, appointments, and projects. Review our plan nightly or early every morning.

A-ction: Concentrate on the most important activities that will move us towards accomplishing our goals.

L-earning: Expand our knowledge through reading materials, watching DVDs, building relationships with mentors, and taking courses.

E-xercise: Take control of our longevity. Re-energize ourselves by exercising for 30 minutes daily.

R-elaxation: Eliminate daily stress, take naps, meditate, listen to music, and spend time with friends and family. 

T-hink: Take time to reflect on the day. Review goals, visualize the future, develop new ideas, and use a journal.

So, let's channel our power to focus and B-ALERT.

Why?

Because it's a Magnificent Monday and we have the power to fulfill our greatness!!

Flying-By-Friday!!

Greetings Global Villagers and Urban Angels, LLC:

TGIF!!

We have had great discussions this week about triggers. But not all triggers are negative nor do all of them evoke adverse feelings. Some triggers are positive and evoke friendship, support, trust, and commitment.

Urban Angels, LLC is a diverse group of over 1800 members. One of the great benefits of being a member is that we can network with each other and have access to various resources. For instance, one of the leaders of the group reached out to me for support with a major project that he has been working on for three years. Through word-of-mouth, relationship-building, and connecting, he entrusted my input and expertise. This triggered feelings of gratefulness, humility, and honor within me.

Hopefully, as we begin working together, we will build a friendship that will last beyond Facebook and other social media networks. Also, my hope is that this Flying-By-Friday blogspot will inspire members to share how they were positively triggered by someone else in the group. Maybe, just maybe, this will begin a pay-it-forward within Urban Angels, LLC.

Wanna join the V-formation? I hope so...

Why?

Because Urban Angels fly by with greatness!!

Thriving-In-Transition Thursday!!

Greetings Global Villagers:

All this week we have been talking about triggers. As a reminder, Marcia Perkins-Reed, the author of Thriving in Transition, declared that we are always in transition!!

In order to live our most effective lives, we must learn how to transition even after we have experienced painful and traumatic events. On last Thriving-In-Transition Thursday, we discussed various ways of operating at The New Zero by going with the flow of change.  One of those ways is to allow for unpredictability.

What are the correlations of being triggered by past events to allowing for unpredictability to thriving in transition?  I'm glad you've asked!! Perkins-Reed identified the Coper, which are those of us who have "chosen immature and maladaptive strategies" [to manage life. Also, Copers are those of us who] don't believe that we have any other choice, but to react as we have in the past" (p. 32).

We are triggered during unpredictable occurrences in our lives. Like I've shared on this Introspective Tuesday, I never intended to burst into tears when I smelled oregano for the first time in 7 years. It was an unpredictable occurrence. On the one hand, I could have 'coped' by choosing the immature strategy of never using or eating food seasoned with oregano again because of my initial reaction and how much it reminded me of my mother. On the other hand, I could have 'thrived' by allowing myself to transition from a place of grief and loss to a place of openness and freedom. I chose the latter. At that time, I chose to allow myself to cry, experience the sense of loss, and talk about my pain with my friend. Currently, I am thriving; I am free to eat food seasoned with oregano with no adverse feelings.

Are you a Coper?  How do you handle your triggers? Do you go with the flow of unpredictable occurrences? Do you perceive that you have options? Just some food for thought...

Why?

Because you have the greatness to thrive in transition!!

Wonderfully-Sexual Wednesday!!

Happy Hump Day Global Villagers:

Instead of picking up where we left off from last week, I want us to continue on the topic of triggers from this week's Introspective Tuesday blog spot!

As we've shared on yesterday, the term trigger is used within the recovery community. In addition, people who are grieving may be triggered by something that reminds them of their deceased loved one. On this Wonderfully-Sexual Wednesday, let's discuss how people who have been sexually traumatized may be triggered.

Sexual trauma refers to sexual situations, in which we are unprepared for, that cause intense fear, powerlessness, shame, and guilt. People who have been sexually traumatized are left to deal with long-term emotional, psychological, and interpersonal problems, to name a few. Triggers from sexual trauma are automatic responses to present-day stimuli.

Like we discussed on yesterday, triggers of sexual trauma can be experienced as adverse emotions. Moreover, some triggers from sexual trauma may be experienced as physical sensations in the body. Even certain sexual acts can trigger our sexual trauma. Some people who have experienced sexual trauma may also experience post-traumatic stress disorder, known as PTSD, which is a type of anxiety disorder that is triggered by a traumatic event.

The Sexualization Circle of the Five Circles of Sexuality by the Advocates for Youth, refers to the use of sexuality to influence, control, or manipulate others. Forms of sexualization range from rape, incest, sexual harassment, withholding sex, to seduction and/or flirting. If a person has experienced sexual trauma, then the other person used his or her sexuality as a form of control.

To learn more about how present-day stimuli may trigger your past sexual trauma, consider taking my 8-session psycho-educational intervention titled, Demystifying Sexuality and the Impact of Trauma. For more information, please feel free to contact me at helpingyou@latishaferrara.com.

Why?

Because every aspect of you was wonderfully created with greatness!!

Introspective Tuesday!!

Greetings Global Villagers:

On this Introspective Tuesday, we will focus specifically on triggers.

The term trigger is used in several contexts. Those in the recovery community use the term trigger in reference to people, places, or things that evoke the desire to return to drugs and/or alcohol use. To avoid relapse, those in recovery are taught how to deal with their triggers. The first step is to identify those things in life that tempt them to use drugs and/or alcohol.

The term trigger is also used by those who are grieving a loss. Certain movies, smells, places, pictures,  activities, or songs may trigger one's thoughts about their deceased loved one. These types of triggers can occur unexpectedly. For instance, my mother seasoned her food with oregano more often than anyone cared for. Seven years after her death while I was cooking dinner at a friend's house, I grabbed the oregano and began seasoning my food. I immediately burst into tears. Unbeknown to me, that was the first time I smelled oregano since her death. Unconsciously, I stopped using oregano because it reminded me of my mother. On that day, my grief was triggered and I experienced the feelings associated with losing her.

The point I'm trying to make on this Introspective Tuesday is that we are all triggered by someone or something.  Most times, what others say or do, certain places, or specific things evoke adverse feelings or responses within us. When feelings or responses are brought to the surface we have to introspectively ask ourselves, "What is going on within me that is causing me to be in this state?" "Why is this (person, place, thing, or circumstance) bothering me?"

Please ponder the following concept:

"It's never about other people or external circumstances. It's always about us and the problem lies within us. Until we look within ourselves and figure out what needs to be sorted through, we will always be triggered in that area, wherever that area is."

Selah...

Why?

Because you must address anything that hinders the fulfillment of your greatness!!

Magnificent Monday!!

It's a Magnificent Monday Global Villagers:


I hope you had a great weekend!!


It's a new day and the beginning of a new workweek.  I want us to remember the definition of magnificent, which means to be great indeed or exceptionally fine.  I want to ask you a question. What personal attributes do you possess that are great indeed?  Oftentimes, we know our weaknesses. More often, we spend time trying to improve our weaknesses.  

Let's try something different this week. Take some time on this Magnificent Monday to write down your attributes and strengths.  After writing them down, then assess what needs to be done to strengthen them. For instance, I am the developer and facilitator of two 8-session group-level, psycho-educational curricula on human sexuality. One of my curricula is titled, Demystifying Sexuality and the Impact of Trauma.  I am very confident in my group facilitation skills and my knowledge base of human sexuality as you can see in my Wonderfully-Sexual Wednesdays blog posts.
Excitedly, I was recently reintroduced to Toastmasters International, which provides a mutually supportive and positive learning environment for people to develop communication and leadership skills. I am considering joining the Philadelphia First Toastmaster Club to sharpen these specific skills.  

So, let's make it a Magnificent Monday by strengthen your strengths this workweek. In turn, everything that you do will be great indeed.


Why?


Because it's a Magnificent Monday and you were created with greatness!!

Flying-By-Friday!!

Greetings Global Villagers and Urban Angels, LLC:

What's up? I trust everyone had a great week, especially since it was a short one!!

One of the Angels of Preach My Sister (PMS), the for women only Facebook group of Urban Angels, LLC, and I landed at a quaint spot in East Falls. During our time together, we talked, ate, laughed, cried, exhorted, educated, enlightened, and even checked one another. It always fascinates me to connect with other women on what I consider to be 'gut level.' Very rarely do I find a woman who is willing to expose herself with another woman, especially one that she does not know. Better yet, a woman will not expose herself to another woman whom she met via Facebook.

Most times, women operate from a place of brokenness, competition, rejection, hurt, pain, mistrust, dishonesty, and pretense; consequently, they guard themselves from other women. This is not the case with PMS. The founder, Jena Williams, spreads her wings and leads the V-formation through the air for her Angels to follow. It is because of her that some of the women of PMS have met and connected. Friendships are being formed, support is being offered; love is being spread.

So on this Flying-By-Friday, I salute all of the Angels of PMS. Soar, Angels soar!!

Do I see you spreading your wings? I should be...

Why?

Because Urban Angels, LLC members fly by with greatness!

Thriving-In-Transition Thursday!!

Greetings Global Villagers:

I know that you have been thriving-in-transition. I have and it has been such an awesome experience!!

Last week, we discussed how Marcia Perkins-Reed described the concept of The New Zero, which is accepting that change is the norm. On this Thriving-In-Transition Thursday, we will review ways of operating at The New Zero when circumstances in our lives shift. Remember, as life changes we must go with the flow. We can no longer manipulate our circumstances for the sake of self-comfort (p. 27).

Let's look at a few ways that we can go with the flow:

1. Be fluid, not stable
2. Allow room for unpredictability
3. Know that life has multiple, simultaneous transitions
4. Operate from a cyclical paradigm; life is not linear
5. Be flexible
6. Embrace diversity
7. Take the courage to change careers if need be
8. Stop procrastinating
9. Be internally authentic
10. Take self-responsibility (p.27)

So, on this Thriving-in-Transition Thursday, examine yourself. Are you operating at the baseline that will allow you to effectively live in times of change? If not, then what internal transitions do you need to make that concur with the external transitions in your life?

Why?

Because you have the greatness to thrive-in-transition!!

Wonderfully-Sexual Wednesdays!!

Happy Hump Day Global Villagers:

Oftentimes when I share with people that I have written two curricula on the topic of human sexuality, they are either really leery or really interested!!

It still shocks me that this topic is still so taboo when our society is inundated with sex from billboards to Prime Time TV.  Recently in late June, Governor Cuomo of New York just signed the same sex marriage bill into law. Moreover, back in April Ashley Judd disclosed her childhood sexual trauma in her memoirs titled, All That Is Bitter and Sweet. 

The point I am trying to make is that people are engaging in sex, talking about sex, Skypeing sex, sexting, abusing others sexually, etc., but they are not learning about human sexuality. The five circles of sexuality provide a clear understanding that our sexual beings function as a system. 

Advocates for Youth has created The Circles of Human Sexuality handout. Please click the link, review the handout, and comment below. Let's talk about this maturely and end the taboo.

Why?

Because every aspect of you was wonderfully created with greatness!!

Introspective Tuesday!!

Greetings Global Villagers:

Boy, have I had plenty of opportunities to engage in introspection this past weekend!! I love my life! I am meeting so many different types of people and doing some great things. 

Because I am open to the life lessons from every social interaction, I glean from each person I meet. Whether I view interactions as positive or negative, I still come out better than I was before the engagement.

On this Introspective Tuesday, I want us to ponder on two words: authenticity and transparency. According to Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary, to be authentic means to be real, actual, and true to one's personality and character. To be transparent means freedom from pretense and deceit and readily understood.

When you interact with people for the first time do you send your representative or are you authentic? Are you transparent and easily understood, not leaving the other person wondering what you meant or are you vague and unclear?

Let's return to living our greatest lives by following the golden rule: Treat others the way you want to be treated. If you want honest interaction, then be honest. If you want to have a clear understanding of the grounds of the new relationship, then provide clarity.  If you want to truly know the person you are dealing with, then be authentic and transparent.

Being authentic and transparent sheds light on other people's pretense and deceit. Make a vow to yourself today to allow your 'little light to shine.'

Why?

Because your greatness is authentic; so, don't darken it with pretense!!

Magnificent Monday!

Greetings Global Villagers:

Not only is it a Magnificent Monday, but it's Independence Day!!

So, let's use our independence to be safe and positive; live our lives to the fullest; enjoy our family and friends; and get some much needed rest!

Why?

Because you were created with greatness!!